Navigating social connection challenges

[picapp align=”left” wrap=”true” link=”term=spiral&iid=290972″ src=”http://view4.picapp.com/pictures.photo/image/290972/abstract-detail-interior/abstract-detail-interior.jpg?size=500&imageId=290972″ width=”320″ height=”480″ /]One problem often encountered on an active path of growth, transformation and self-realization is the challenge of staying connected with people who no longer share our point of view or values. Growth happens when we tackle our problems as if they were life lessons, expanding our awareness after each lesson learned. Resolving problems will challenge our values, our beliefs and perhaps our world view and in accepting solutions we become changed. Without realizing it we may actually change more than we bargained for or desired and as a result our relationships may become frayed at the edges as others not only don’t see our point view but get angry with it. This is because our positive changes don’t usually eek over to our closest friends or family members the way we would like. Instead, no matter how passionately we talk about our new insights, or viewpoints, they may wind up gawking at us in disbelief or write us off as being in a passing life phase.

What to do. Encountering this type of reaction can leave us feeling frustrated, resentful, betrayed or down right angry afterall, as friends, we are alway ‘there for them’. Why won’t they come along with us for our new inspired outlook? Worse, why do ‘they’ want to relate to us from a lower energy state where we were uninformed?

In managing our growth we need to come to terms with the unspoken agreements that define our friendships or relationships. This involves taking responsibilty for our own growth and respecting the way things are for those we are outgrowing. If we stop resonating with the negative reactions of others regarding our growth, they soon accept us once again as we are. While we may now have a little less in common, nevertheless we are remain connected. At the same time we may find ourselves seeking out new individuals or groups who can help us learn more about the new level of awareness we are integrating, who can challenge us and be there for us in new ways.

One model of thought that really helped me navigate a social landscape more adequately without sacrificing my internal growth are the teachings of Ken Wilber. A prolific writer, and lecturer, with a world wide following, his book entitled “A Theory or Everything”   (affiliate link) helped me to understand the stages of transformation, determine where my own position in the spiral of conscousness and how it relates to the position of others. A pivotal understanding is that at a certain stage of awareness, there are distinct value groups. Each of these groups charactoristically feels their values are superior to the values of other groups. They feel that they are right and everyone else is wrong. So if we shift out of one set of values and into another set we risk making enemies of our friends – unless we resonate with the qualitiy of acceptance that says everyone is right and everyone is entitled to their values. Then we stop asking that our group adopt our new insights, values or beliefs and allow for an exchange of energy that is mutually respectful. Our connections will then remain strong, nurturing and constant.

The light of others is constantly intersecting with our own. Understanding how our changes affect others and how to handle this is a key tool for successfully navigating our personal holographic universe.

With love and light,

Carolyn

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